Five jobs that make the Unemployment Line look more attractive

Many of us can relate to that Monday Morning feeling, snoozing the alarm repeatedly, fabricating possible excuses as to why we can’t make it into the office today. However, you should count yourself lucky and spare a thought as you catch your commuter train, with your Grande-Skinny-Latte-to-go in hand – for those working in jobs where the pain/pleasure balance is weighted down on the pain side of the scales.

Five jobs that make the Unemployment Line look more attractive…

  • 1. Clinical Trial Participant

A noble role in which volunteers offer up their bodies to science for the greater medical good..and an undisclosed fee *plus reimbursed transport costs… A seemingly perfect money making opportunity, pop a few pills and sit tight playing X-Box, whilst being monitored by men in white coats. But what are the costs for those not lucky enough to pick the placebo pill?

Mohammed Abdalla, 28, had jumped at the chance of a £2,000 fee for being a guinea pig, planning to use the money to make his family in Egypt financially secure. Things started to go wrong in the trial for a drug to treat Leukemia & Arthritis as Mohammed’s head started to balloon in size. Perhaps he should have heeded the scientist’s warnings as the told of the damage the drug could do to human flesh. No comfort to the man now likened by his own girlfriend to Elephant Man.



  • Source
  • 2. Morbid Make-Up Artist

Top ranking make-up artists can expect to earn up to £3,000 per day for fashion shows, enjoying working with a range of glamorous models, performers and presenters, in a number of colourful setting including film & television sets, theatres, photographic shoots and a little more exotically on the coroner’s slab.

While working as a make-up artist to the deceased as opposed to the living may help you steer clear of client disagreements over make-up choices it can throw up a series of problems aside from the obvious morbidity of the role – specialist thermogenic makeup needs to be used as regular make-up crumbles on dead skin in the absence of body heat to break it down. Not to mention the emptying of bowels, bladder and vomiting of the corpses – grim.


  • 3. Unlucky Factory Operative

Glamour, glitz, luxury, high pay, relaxed hours of work – about as far away as you can get from the typical perception of factory work – from working in a refrigerated environment day in day out as part of a team to produce…watercress (Yes, that sprinkling of grass like vegetation you sometimes see on supermarket cafe salads?) – or working as a Quality Controller in a chicken factory to separate the drumsticks from the thighs.

Chicken factory talent must not be sneered at, as abilities can thrive in the most unusual of places – Chicken Factory X Factor  – No, not there.

The ability to survive in the workplace as your body is dragged through a five inch gap in a steel processing machine and to live to tell the tale – now that shows resilience and dedication to an organisation where he is now unbelievably planning to become a Site Supervisor.



  • 4. Crab Fishing

An industry which averages on average claims one fatality a week and labour that leaves a stench on fish on you at the end of your working day? Sounds like a dream..working brutal 21 hour long shifts in Alaska, the freezing and stormy conditions meaning that injuries are common as well as the risk of falling overboard.

So what is the allure for these crab fishers? The hours? The risk of death? The potted shrimp to take home to the wife? Perhaps the earning potential as they are able to rake in up over an average annual salary of $100,000 over less than a week during the Alaskan crabbing season.


  • 5. Cow Head Stroker

Animal care roles frequently top the list of desired careers for little girls and boys throughout the country as they tell Mummy and Daddy of their aspirations to become a Vet or to work in Pet Shop. A relatively unknown career in this field is that of the worker who is entrusted with the task of holding and tenderly stroking a cow’s head as they are artificially inseminated with bull sperm.

Interestingly enough, young boys in Africa can be seen here in a similar role as they are entrusted to blow up a cow’s bottom to encourage them to lactate – yes it is exactly as it sounds.




If you enjoyed this article you will also enjoy reading:

2 thoughts on “Five jobs that make the Unemployment Line look more attractive

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *