Making Choices with NLP
When you have to options and you don’t know which direction you should go in you can use the NLP technique: Integrating Conflicting Parts – The Visual Squash Technique
These choices could include which career should I take. Job A or B? Should I leave my partner or stay together? Should I move home or stay where I am?
At some point in our lives we will inevitably run into times when ‘part’ of us wants to do one thing and another ‘part’ of us wants to do something else. For example: ‘’Part of me wants to be super fit and healthy, but then another part of me wants the pleasure of eating sugary, calorie rich junk food’’. Whether it’s a bad habit or an important decision you or you want to make, it is the inner conflict being experienced that prevents us from acting the right way.
In principle, the Visual Squash technique involves identifying the parts involved with the conflict and discovering their common intention before having the parts integrated. It is useful to talk to each part and have them acknowledge that each part had a positive intention for the other and that their conflict is stopping both parts from achieving their common purpose.
- Identify two parts of yourself that may be in conflict.
- Ask the problem part to come out and stand on one hand or to your side
- Imagine the part as a person or object and see what the person/object looks like, sounds like, and (what feelings and thoughts that person has) or (the weight and texture of the object)
- Ask the second part to come out and stand on the other hand/side.
- Imagine the second part as a person or object and see what the person/object looks like, sounds like, and (what feelings and thoughts that person has) or (the weight and texture of the object)
- Starting with the first part, ask each part, ‘what is your positive intention and purpose?’ Keep repeating the question until both parts intentions are fully understood. Recognise that both parts are trying to help you.
- Ask each part individually what resources it has that would benefit the shared goal of helping you. Is there anything useful about part one that will help part two? And vice versa?
- Recognise whether there is a persuasion to one part more than the other. Does one part have better resources to achieve the shared goal of helping you with the support of the second part?
- Bring both your hands together and fully integrate the parts and their positive resources…
Most people from completing this exercise will know (a gut feeling as it is often described) what option to take.
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