Richard Bandler’s The Famous Client Who Thought He Was Jesus Christ Story

Richard Bandler’s The Famous Client Who Thought He Was Jesus Christ Story


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I don’t know how many of you heard the story of Milton with Jesus Christ. Of all the things Milton ever told me, this one didn’t work for me. He looked at the guy and said, “I heard you used to be a carpenter.” The guy said, “Yeah.” Next day, Milton asked, “Do you believe in helping people?” Then Milton sent him out to work with the guys in the back of the hospital building. They fixed him, not Milton! Take a bunch of redneck guys in Arizona. These guys won’t take any shit about you being Jesus Christ.


Most of them are Baptists to start with. They’d sharpen their knives and look at your nuts. You’d get unschizophrenic fast! But that worked. So when I did some training and some of the residents told me they had this client who believed he was Jesus Christ, who ripped bed sheets off and draped himself in white and all this stuff, I went,”Ouuhhhh!”


I did something simple. I went out and got a carpenter’s belt, and one big 4 by 6 and another big 4 by 4 and a whole stack of four-penny nails. Those are suckers about a foot long. And I got a tool belt with a five-pound mallet.


I went in. The guy lay in his bed. I took my tape measure and measured him the long way. I took his arms and pulled them out to his side. I made an X on both his hands with the little chalk things. He looked at me. I put the big 4 by 4 on the 4 by 6 on the floor, yanked out my big mallet, and started whacking it together. Whacckkk.l


He leaned forward and asked, “what are you doing?” I looked up and said, “You’re Jesus Christ, aren’t you?” He asked, “why do you want to know?” I said, “Oh, nothing.” Whaaaccckk.! I took a couple of those nails and put one on one end table and one on the other, looked at his hands, and drooled a little out of the comer of my mouth. I looked at him and said, ”I’m Jewish! Easter is on its way. In fact, it will be Good Friday tomorrow. Ha Ha Ha.” The guy said, “wait a minute here! I’m schizophrenic! This is just a mental disorder.” I yelled, “They always say that’ That’s when they beep the doctor and shout, “I’m cured, I’m cured! Get me out of herd” Selling cars would be a lot easier.


When they talk about schizophrenia they always say that schizophrenics went out of touch with reality. Then they try to put them in touch with reality. As a physicist I knew that we can’t find “reality.” I figured to make whatever they believed real. If patients believe the CIA chasesthem, call the CIA to come over to chase them. For me that’s true.


This is an extract from “Time for a Change” by Richard Bandler

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