The Number One Rule for Dealing With Criticism
People are criticised on a regular basis from your partner telling you that you didn’t Hoover the stairs properly to your boss telling you the report you wrote wasn’t very good.
The best way to deal with criticism is to put a different and more positive approach on the accusation.
My friend recently said to me she felt down after putting on some extra weight after eating too much cake at her child’s birthday party, which I replied with “so, what your saying is the extra cake you ate is a sign that you had fun and were enjoying yourself at your child’s party?”
It doesn’t matter what you are accused off, it’s how you respond and reframe the question that is important. All you have to do is take the criticism and talk about it from a different angle, whatever you NEVER defend yourself or you will only look as guilty as charged.
Real life examples and the responses you can use
- “You’re not very creative” Response “so, what you’re saying if I show you a creative idea you will think I’m more creative?”
- “Why do you never understand what I mean?” Response “so, what you mean is, if I summaries what you have asked me to do after each instruction, you will know that I understand you”
- “Why are you always late?” Responses “are you asking what has happened in my private life, to make me late for the past few days?”
By not getting defensive and by turning the question around and getting specific means your manager has to agree or answer your question; with the first question (creative) the person can only agree with you or look stupid. The second question (understanding) here you have changed the question, its no longer about you not understanding it is about you confirming your understanding and the third example, (lateness) the rude person will first feel embarrassed but the conversation has moved from you being late to the reason why.
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