Knowing how to gain instant rapport is a great skill to possess and an easy skill to learn, you can already think of a thousand situations when getting anyone to like you instantly would be useful.
Today, after reading this article you will have a better understanding of how to create rapport with a Stranger or Interviewer instantly and how to use this to your advantage.
Rapport creates trust, helping us achieve our goal; getting a discount in a shop to passing a job interview. In NLP Rapport is defined as the establishment of trust, harmony and co-operation in a relationship.
Have you ever walked in to a room and you are instantly drawn to one group of people rather then another? This is because we like people who are similar to us.
This can be conscious; you may go over to someone who is wearing a football shirt from the team you support or carrying a book from your favourite author. Similarity helps us break the ice and build rapport.
With your unconscious mind, you may be drawn to a group of people or an individual, without knowing why. This could be due to person(s) posture, body language and even the way they speak or dress.
When in rapport your conversation will feel “in the flow” or as Robert Dilts once said “a loop of mutual influence”
We like people who seem familiar to us, who appear as we do. One way to increase rapport is to Match the other persons Posture.
While in conversation, match how the other person stands (creating a mirror effect) and copy their common gestures. Some NLP-ers will say Matching is a sign of rapport which is true and I would add to improve rapport matching body language and posture works really well.
An Interview Coach can teach you how to build rapport with interviewers
Second listen to the person’s language and match their voice speed and tone – you can even match and build rapport over the phone.
Also, listen to the words the person uses, do they use Visual, Auditory or Kinaesthetic language? You can use a person’s language to gain rapport and influence them.
The Power of a Smile.
If you entered a room with two people stood in it and you had to choice one person to talk to, they both looked the same and had a similar posture, the only difference was one was smiling – who would you prefer to talk to?
Everyone is attracted more to someone who smiles, as a smile shows warmth, confidence, happiness and acceptance. During an interview where we all know first impressions count, if you walk into the room confidently with a big wide smile you will instantly be liked.
There is a lot more to learn on rapport building to get people to like you and for you to be able to influence others, far too much for one article. So we will return to this again as the next rapport building article will hold some powerful secrets.
But before you go, I will teach you one last tactic – Listening. We have all hear the old saying “we have two ears and one mouth, we should listen twice as much as we talk” this is very true.
Start a conversation by asking a question, as the other person talks keep listening and nod throughout the conversation. This will increase Rapport especially when you match their body language.
Listening builds rapport, by listening instead of interrupting with your own thoughts; it shows the other person the conversation is about them not you.
You can even take this one step further; after listening to the other person build up and expand on what they have said, showing you have further knowledge and expertise. If possible add an idea/suggestion they have not thought of.
This technique, when learnt can be used to influence others, you can already think of ways this technique can improve your interview techniques.
As an example, many interviewers will tell you about a new contract they have won (the reason they are recruiting – as an example building FLT engines), as you sit their, smile, nod and listen-building up rapport. As the interviewer finishes, tell them how great it is to win a contract in these competitive times, and how (add in a further knowledge) the company could also use the engineers to delivery on site maintenance and breakdown repairs, as this would not increase overheads and pays well.
It doesn’t matter if the company will take on this idea, it shows you have knowledge in their sector and can think out of the box, plus your first goal was to establish excellent rapport which you have easily done, now all you have to do is answer the other interview questions positively and wait for your job offer.
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